Paranoia is in bloom ♥

Sunday, January 10, 2010
This Is Not The Way I Planned This.@8:31 PM

Hey. I missed doing this. Hehe. Hello cyber diary of mine. I missed you so much >:D<

Skyway
Yes. It was Skyway last friday and yesterday. And it was not too much fun but it was simply unforgettable. It was not because of the rides and the food and the games and the booths. It was mainly because of the bonding I got to experience. It's like I got to experience what Hannah Montana (pardon me about this Hannah Montana thing) was saying Best of both worlds. So, simply put I would once again like to thank my FRIENDS most especially, UBE You guys. I really love you. REALLY. also NOX and STA you know how much I would like to thank you both for our special friendship right? also TAGMATES. DANNA a.k.a TPK, iTQ and TSK THANK YOU SO MUCH. Skyway wouldn't really make a mark on my life if it weren't for you guys. THANK YOU >:D<

(BUMMING MOMENTS in short, TAMBAY LANG SA TABI-TABI) =))

Even though skyway was special because of my friends, you can't help the fact that there was still the time when you just bummed away because there was simply nothing to do. And of course being in poverty state and all, you can't really buy food and stuff. Good thing there was this invention called the CAMERA. =)) Thanks to you bumming was simply FUN =))

There. Thanks also to bumming, I was baptized into someone who wears black eye liner and does AWESOME lady like photoshoots with my AWESOME friends. =)) Ignore the Manny Villar pose over there =))

All in all, my Friday and Saturday was jam packed with awesome time with my Friends. Thank you once again.

And now, for the second part. I mean for the reason why even though I had a blast last Friday and Saturday, Today was just simply a dawn of sadness for me.

Here's the thing, our JUNIOR's night is just like a month away and to tell you honestly, I still don't have a prom date. Not that it bothers me and all that I don't have one but I've been thinking that maybe.. the problem is with me. I mean ever since I was a little girl, I never really liked BOYS. I mean the one with the relationship thing. The only boy friends that I ever acknowledged was with the "barkada" of my dad. I mean, hello.. they are like in their 20's even 30's or even older. I don't feel awkward around them but whenever I'm surrounded with boys or teenage boys rather... I feel, scared and awkward. I don't know why. I never really like it when I'm around boys. I just feel... something I can't even describe. I was thinking... "maybe I'm really lesbian or something and I'm just pretending that I'm not because I'm afraid of what my family and friends would say" but then again, I kept thinking about my past experiences... "you are just drawn to girls because you grew up being surrounded by girls and girls only and that what you felt for her was just pure infatuation." I'm really confused. Plus, no matter what I do, I can't help but to really fall deeply in love with my first love,

Ashley Michelle Greene.


I mean, I really look up to her and all and I absolutely adore her. But I really can't help the fact that I LOVE HER. I love her because she is beautiful. Isn't that quite odd? I mean... ARG. :|

But then again... here comes someone who I also love and adore and LOVE and ADORE and I just simply love HIM


Yes, him.
(Oh, why can't you just fly here and be my prom date or rather, be mine?!)
-Sigh- I really love him. Okay, I know I just adored him in BOF but there is really something about him that draws me into him. NOT BECAUSE HE IS KOREAN and he's HOT and he's CUTE and he's AMAZING and he's PERFECT. Okay, yeah. It's not about that. It's because he is really loveable. There's something in him that I look for in a guy. Really.

So yeah. There. My life really is so jumbled up right now and I feel like I suck. I mean, I'm so not .. how do you even put this up in words... I don't like na. Basta. I feel that somehow, I was destined to be lonely when it comes to relationships. (like romantic ones) I don't know, somehow.. I can picture it.

Haay.

Oh, before I end this.. I would like to congratulate my bestfriend.
CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so happy for you. >:D<

Deeming Virgin
Resurrection

THIS REQUIRES FOCUS.
Different
Names
for the
Same
Thing